“Daddy, are you going to eat lunch with me at school tomorrow?” Meileah asked this question with big, round eyes as I tucked her into bed last night.
“What? Is it a special day?” I replied buying myself some time because a Twix wasn’t readily available.
“Yes,” she replied with enough coy mystery to write a dozen sitcoms.
“Well, it’s not your birthday.”
“Noooooooo.”
“Well, what is it?”
“I don’t know, but parents are invited to come and eat lunch.” The look in her eyes told me she knew no more.
I walked her into school this morning to find out what was planned. Today is Grandparents’ Day. I said goodbye to Meileah and turned to walk back to the car when grief and tears showed up tag-teaming me like two five hundred pound wrestlers with an agenda… and they didn’t bring tissues.
Elisa and my Father on Grandparents' Day 2000 (I think)
Grandparents’ Day was always a special day in our house. Many times, both Kaye’s parents and my parents traveled to our house. Our
former school hosted a day of events—musical program, school tour, classroom visits, and more. Our children created special essays and artwork to present to their grandparents. One grade level even made the diagramming of a sentence a performance art. Our parents felt so special and honored. Our children felt so loved. To be transparent, I think that Grandparents’ Day was more connecting and memory-making than Christmas. The happiness and excitement weren’t manufactured or expected. They were the product of childlike joy—in both our children and our parents.
Since moving to Nashville, we’ve homeschooled. We enrolled Meileah in school this year. This is the first Grandparents’ Day since 2004.
A lot changes in 6+ years. My dad, my mom, and Kaye’s dad are now in heaven. Kaye’s mom cant travel.
As I walked to the car, the memories flooded back. I’ll never forget the smiles of pride on their faces, the laughter, the hugs, watching my dad get in and out of a child’s classroom chair, and so much more. And I’ll remember the tears we all shed. Tears of joy at the special feeling of the day. Tears of time as we each silently mourned the passing of time and the growing up of children.
Today, in honor of my parents, I will eat lunch with Meileah and listen as her classmates entertain their grandparents. The memories will be heavy—like a lead blanket at the dentist—but they will not be burdensome. I will share a story or two with her about her grandparents.
Grief surprised me today, but I choose to dance with it and remember The Teacher’s words.
It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart.
- Ecclesiastes 7:2
When and where has grief surprised you? How did you walk through it.
P.S. As I wrote this post, it hit me that if Randy Alcorn is correct (and I hope he is), my parents and Kaye’s dad may be praying for Meileah today and watching lunch through heaven’s portal.
Advertisement
Like this:
Be the first to like this post.
About wmarkwhitlock
Mark Whitlock is a life-long communicator who loves to connect life-changing content with creative presentation.
Mark began communicating through broadcasting. He cut his teeth as a stringer reporter for an NPR affiliate. He spent a year of early mornings behind the microphone as the morning drive announcer for WMSL-FM89. After college, Mark headed to the Front Range of Colorado and worked with Focus on the Family’s daily broadcast team. In 1992, he moved his family to Little Rock, Ark. When he helped launch “FamilyLife Today.” Mark served as the engineer and producer for the daily radio program “FamilyLife Today” for five years. Mark became the acquisitions editor for FamilyLife Publishing in 1998. He has been responsible for and contributed as an author to more than ten FamilyLife resources including Passport to Purity, Jonah: A Very Veggie Family Adventure (published in cooperation with Big Idea), and the amazon.com best-seller Simply Romantic® Nights.
In 2004, Mark joined Thomas Nelson Publishers as a ministry consultant where he helped ministries in the Eastern U.S. with strategic planning, donor development, product development, author relations, and custom publishing. He helped sign two authors with the company. In December 2005, Mark became a Senior Acquisitions Editor in the Bible Group on working on reference titles. Mark’s job was to help the Bible come alive through creativity, understanding, and application. Mark has written several Bible studies for 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment and Sony Pictures Home Entertainment.
Mark served as the Creative Director for GSF Media, a Nashville-based agency concentrating on radio—compelling programming, effective advertising, and life-changing fundraising. He traveled to great radio stations and networks across the country on behalf of the children of World Vision, one of the largest non-profit organizations in the U.S. recruiting more 13,000 child sponsors in the process.
He hopes to finish his first of many novels, The Ledgers, before he loses the rest of his hair.
Mark and his wife Kaye celebrated 20 years of marriage in 2010. They live and laugh with Michael (16), Lauren (13), Meileah (8), and their two dogs in Franklin, Tennessee. Their oldest, Elisa, is doing great in college.
Visit Mark’s blog at wmarkwhitlock.wordpress.com. Read samples of his work at whitlockportfolio.blogspot.com. Read about their adoption at homepage.mac.com/wmwsdg.
I don’t know the pain of losing parents….yet….but I know the feeling about Grandparents day. Having my dad so far from my kids has always been difficult to deal with. Glad you you took the time to be there for her and to share about your folks. I played b-ball with the kids this past weekend. First thing I showed my kids was how I could dribble around and between my legs with each hand. It was the first drill I learned at your dads basketball camp. Love ya brother…..John
It’s been almost 15 years since my Pop-pop went to live with Jesus and I still get surprised by the grief. Now it’s bittersweet like fine dark chocolate and I embrace it in the same manner. My sadness highlights the beauty of the love he showered on me and I smile through my tears. Fortunately love remains and trancends mortal boundaries. And when I remember his membership in the great cloud of witnesses, I run a little stronger. So paint those word pictures for Meileah today. You’ll both benefit. Love never fails.
I am so glad you were able to go to school and be a substitute grandparent, even though you were surprised by grief today. I hurt with you. I know something of grief – loss of a husband through his disappearance in Russia and then his abandonment – loss of a marriage, loss of ministry, loss of my dad, my mom, and former mother-in-law and father-in-law, who were like parents to me, and most recently the loss of a beautiful 31 year old stepdaughter who was a gifted actress. Through each loss, grief has been there as my constant companion lifting my soul to see the good and great things that God has brought into my life through all situations. I count it a privilege that I got to work along side this substitute grandparent for a little while down here, because somehow I feel a little more prepared for what is to come. Blessings to you & your family Mark!